While Swingin'
Today I came home from work to my mother who backed out as I pulled on to the driveway. I think the Lord truly blesses her as she drives sometimes. She can turn and miss an object by literally 2 inches and I don't think she knows it. :)
Anyway, she asked me to take care of scottie so i took him to the backyard, walked around a bit, and ended up in the tree swing. A tree swing somehow always manages to provoke my thoughts...
There is also something about spinning (and twisting the rope so much that it literally pinches the nerves in your hips to death), whether in a chair, on a swing or on one of those thingy's in the park, that automatically relaxes and soothes me. That seems only normal to me, but to my sister, Allison, it is quite the opposite: it would only make her sick.
As i enjoyed my moment of unconscious solitude unware of the world, spinning...spinning..spinning... i slowly made my self-aware, awkward entrance back to reality. "Is a neighbor watching me? Was my underwear showing? I am 20 years old.. Is it normal for other 20 year old women to do this?!" I often wonder this, indeed. In my mind, I feel like i might be more mature than a lot of the women around me my age...but then i think again. times like these really make me question my sanity. "Maybe I am actually psycho. Psychos don't really know they are psycho, do they?? ...I don't know if i am psycho.. Does that prove that I'm a psycho??" Twisted logic, I know. hmm...
anyway, back to maturity: Sometimes i wish I were a child again. You know, the simplicity of life. When what made you (or rather me) happy was the smell of fresh cut grass, watermelon, wearing a prairie dress and the sound of locusts at dusk. And what made you angry was having to clean your room, or come home from the neighbors for lunch! There was no worrying about whether or not you are making enought money this summer for college, or if you locked you car, or if you cant seem to make everyone you love happy, or "Oh my goodness, I seriously just lost my phone AGAIN" or why your younger sister has a boyfriend before you. I miss the "Can Kenzie and Zack come out and play?" and "Lets pretender that..." There was no recognition of the true horrors of prostitution, human-trafficking, sweat-shops, and lost souls..
But then I realized something- How much greater (and by greater I mean nobler) it is to be aware of and to hate those things and to take action about it! I know that is obvious, but sometimes, simple things really strike home and that was one instance. I don't know right now what my future holds, but i believe that my God will lead me where He wants me if my heart is first for Him, and then for His people. He will do anything with a willing heart. We must just let Him. Let God. That is one of the hardest things to do sometimes. I pray that "whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, 'it is well, it is well with my soul'".
speaking of an inspiring tragedy- take a look at this: the 25th anniversary of Les Miserable with Nick Jonas. He surprisingly has a very nice voice. All this makes me want to sing again!
Anyway, she asked me to take care of scottie so i took him to the backyard, walked around a bit, and ended up in the tree swing. A tree swing somehow always manages to provoke my thoughts...
There is also something about spinning (and twisting the rope so much that it literally pinches the nerves in your hips to death), whether in a chair, on a swing or on one of those thingy's in the park, that automatically relaxes and soothes me. That seems only normal to me, but to my sister, Allison, it is quite the opposite: it would only make her sick.
As i enjoyed my moment of unconscious solitude unware of the world, spinning...spinning..spinning... i slowly made my self-aware, awkward entrance back to reality. "Is a neighbor watching me? Was my underwear showing? I am 20 years old.. Is it normal for other 20 year old women to do this?!" I often wonder this, indeed. In my mind, I feel like i might be more mature than a lot of the women around me my age...but then i think again. times like these really make me question my sanity. "Maybe I am actually psycho. Psychos don't really know they are psycho, do they?? ...I don't know if i am psycho.. Does that prove that I'm a psycho??" Twisted logic, I know. hmm...
anyway, back to maturity: Sometimes i wish I were a child again. You know, the simplicity of life. When what made you (or rather me) happy was the smell of fresh cut grass, watermelon, wearing a prairie dress and the sound of locusts at dusk. And what made you angry was having to clean your room, or come home from the neighbors for lunch! There was no worrying about whether or not you are making enought money this summer for college, or if you locked you car, or if you cant seem to make everyone you love happy, or "Oh my goodness, I seriously just lost my phone AGAIN" or why your younger sister has a boyfriend before you. I miss the "Can Kenzie and Zack come out and play?" and "Lets pretender that..." There was no recognition of the true horrors of prostitution, human-trafficking, sweat-shops, and lost souls..
But then I realized something- How much greater (and by greater I mean nobler) it is to be aware of and to hate those things and to take action about it! I know that is obvious, but sometimes, simple things really strike home and that was one instance. I don't know right now what my future holds, but i believe that my God will lead me where He wants me if my heart is first for Him, and then for His people. He will do anything with a willing heart. We must just let Him. Let God. That is one of the hardest things to do sometimes. I pray that "whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, 'it is well, it is well with my soul'".
speaking of an inspiring tragedy- take a look at this: the 25th anniversary of Les Miserable with Nick Jonas. He surprisingly has a very nice voice. All this makes me want to sing again!
your psycho underwear was showing. your neighbor texted me a picture. ;)
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