The Purity Ring Need Not Die

THE PURITY RING NEED NOT DIE...........

This is a day and age that the majority of people are obsessed with romance. I believe that when we look back at a defining characteristic of this and a few past decades, one of them will be that we obsessively fawn over romantic love.

With this obsession come many opinions (and questions) on what "dating should look like", or "how guys and girls should relate to each other" or "how far is too far"?

It is great that these questions get asked, but often it can be very disappointing and saddening the way they get answered. So many times, it seems to me that people would rather live by a rule than by dependency on the Spirit on a continual basis.

In an attempts to encourage their children, particularly their daughters, to remain pure and committed to the ways of the Lord in their relationships, it has become common for parents to give a "promise ring" or "purity ring" to their girls. I am one of those girls.

Recently I read an article that was boldly titled, "Why I don't wait anymore". (http://gracefortheroad.com/2012/02/03/idontwait/ )This is a post by a girl who chose not to wear her purity ring anymore because of the lie that she was told and had been believing as a result of the ring. She had been told by whoever gave it to her, that true love waited. The obvious culture then is that if true love waited, then true love would be given-- she would someday get the equal (or better) reward of a wonderful man as a result of her "waiting". She goes on to reference the ultra-famous quote many girls have posted on their mirrors and their Twitters-- the one about falling in love with God first and then you can fall in love with a boy later on. She concludes her biting, if you are being real with the article, and very honest post with the idea that waiting doesn't mean sitting around waiting for the most amazing time of your life to happen when some man comes along.

If this is the case, then we don't need God who has His best in mind for us (regardless of whether we can comprehend that as the BEST plan); we merely want a divine Waiter to give us what we want if we treat Him right! Hardly taking up our cross to follow the One who carried His own cross for us. What if you don't get that man??? Then where is God?

Matthew 8:19-20

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁹ Then a teacher of the law came to him and said, “Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.”
²⁰ Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”

What I really want to talk about is one of her last statements:
"And that’s why I slipped off my ring that day. It wasn’t that I wanted to sleep with people – I haven’t. It wasn’t a slap to True Love Waits, or to anyone who wears a purity ring – saving sex for marriage is good and is His design."

I want to show the beautiful side of the purity ring.

God is a God of symbolism, metaphors and imagery. The sacrificial lamb of the Old Testament is the ultimate symbol of what Christ was to be for people: to take the place of people who deserved death themselves...the only perfect sacrifice that could atone for us eternally! Praise God!
Now think of the imagery God gives us with marriage. Christ as the head of the church, and his people as the body...and He takes care of the body. Now think of symbolism humans use. I think of marriage again and the wedding band. It is "a symbol of my love for you"...a symbol of a promise. Again another instance comes up-- God send a rainbow as a symbol of his promise to never flood the earth again. The Jews strapped little boxes full of scripture to their foreheads as a reminder and symbol of the importance of knowing God's word, and "hiding it your heart". SYMBOLISM IS HUGE!!!

SO that being said, I believe that the purity ring does not need to die.

It makes me sad to think that it could be a trend to rip off purity rings because it might appear too much like a tradition. I certainly hope that that is not the outcome that this article had on girls, and I don't believe that was the author's intention. My hope is that as a result, girls who already have a purity ring take up that cross, and carry it well.

How does one carry it well?

1) Evaluate your life before the Lord. Why am I wearing this ring? For the Lord or for myself?
2) Choose to be an imitator of Christ, to be in Him and He was in God. To be so in tune with the Spirit of God that you become the hands and feet of Christ...in service to people.
3) Choose to live in step with the Spirit. Do not suppress the Spirit by clinging to sin! This is by far the quickest way to not experience the fruit of God in your life, which is the way the world see Him through us. I believe this directly applies to the questions of dating and how far is too far? The new way of living that Christ brought is not rules and laws; it is for freedom that He set us free!! Rather than thinking in terms of "what can I get away with before I feel guilty", train yourself and ask the Lord to show you (but be willing to listen first!) what it is like to imitate Him in your relationships...but also your entire life! I remember the first time I experience the freedom of saying no to sin in the power of the Spirit. It is an extremely liberating and freeing feeling that is not worth ignoring. Continually seek His guidance in your life, even in the moment where emotions are high and physical attraction is strong. We will all be tempted-- it is up to us to choose what we will engage with in that moment: Christ or the your sinful nature. I believe that if we were truly living by the Spirit all the time, we would never fall into sin.
3) Choose to see the ring as a symbol, and no more than a symbol, of  your commitment to the Lord Jesus Christ (if you have made that commitment). Resist the temptation to view it as a symbol of righteousness achieved by your own doing. In this way, we can be certain that no areas of our personal life are left untouched by the changing grace of Christ, all the way down to the way we, as sisters in Christ, relate to our brothers.
4) So that glory is given to Christ by it --- May this be the ultimate reason anything is ever done. May Christ be honored by your commitment (this include you, brothers) to devote yourself to following Him in ALL things.